


He's There Right Beside You

by HockeyShit



Series: I Wish it Were Easier [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: anyways this is angsty so......, i'm only a little sorry, past William Nylander/David Pastrnak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 12:16:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10944321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HockeyShit/pseuds/HockeyShit
Summary: Next thing I know, I'm exploding,And everything feels awful and wrong.And he's there, right beside you,But the music inside is our song.





	He's There Right Beside You

**Author's Note:**

> "song fic are so 2013" yeah i know but sometimes you've gotta  
> This exsits because of averyconfusedwriter  
> the title, summary, and lyrics in the fic come from Penny & Sparrow's Honest Wage

**_When you called, it was loud; I got angry._ ** ****_  
_ **_I was everything but sober._ _  
_ _I said things that were ruthless, and I meant 'em,_**

They fell in love so fast, it should have been Kasperi’s first clue. This wasn’t going to work out. Willy told him about David right away, he might still be a little in love with him. It was fine though Kasperi figured he could work past that. He was good enough that William would get over David, he was all the way in Boston anyways. Kasperi was right here, right next to William, how could he be in love with a boy in Boston when Kappy was right here.

**_But you told me to come over._ ** ****_  
_ **_You say he's in town, and you're crying,_ ** ****_  
_ **_And you're throwing him one hell of a party._ ** ****_  
_ **_So I hang up and start shaking, thinking_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_You never threw one for me._**

Kasperi knew he was in love before they had even kissed. Who wouldn’t fall in love with Will, his smile was infectious, he wanted to keep everyone around him smiling.

“Hey It’s cool if David comes over right? Boston is in town.” He had that smile, the one Kasperi knew he would never say no to.

“Of course”

It wasn’t the first time Kasperi would meet David, but it hurt every time. No matter how many times he told himself that if he just loved William, Will would stop loving David he couldn’t see it. When David came over he was met with a smile, one of the ones Kasperi hoped one day would be just for him. William got out the good beer, it didn’t feel like he had a game later. Kasperi didn’t remember if he even told Willy he was going to practice, he wouldn't be missed, and he’d catch the game that night.

**_I wish it was easier to kiss you on the mouth,_ ** ****_  
_ **_Like it is to work hard and earn an honest wage._ ** ****_  
_ **_But you're not always fair to me, like I wish you would be..._ ** **_  
_ ** ******_He's the one who left home; I'm the one who stayed._**

Kasperi loved William, more than he had ever loved anyone before, which is why he couldn’t help but wonder if Willy noticed. If he could notice that when he said “I love you” his smile didn’t reach his eyes, not the way it did when he saw David. Kasperi couldn’t help but wonder if Will noticed he spent more time trying to keep up with David than his boyfriend. Sometimes Kasperi wondered if William remembered which one of them he was dating.

**_So, I drove when I shouldn't (But I'll make it; I'm feeling alright),_ ** ****_  
_ **_You walk out, (I'm a mess), you look perfect..._ ** **_  
_ ** ******_I figured you might…_**

They were going to go out. They had a short time between the end of the Leaf’s season the beginning of the Marlie’s play offs. They hadn’t gotten to go out in a while, Kasperi had been looking forward to this for longer than he wanted to admit. Which made going out alone all the worse.

“I know we were planning on going out but Pasta is on his way,”

“On his way to Toronto?”

“His season just ended and-”

“What ever Will, I’m still going out,”

“We can all go out together,”

“I’m not going out with your ex.”   
**_Next thing I know, I'm exploding,_ ** ****_  
_ **_And everything feels awful and wrong._ ** ****_  
_ **_And he's there, right beside you,_ ** **_  
_ _But the music inside is our song._**

Kasperi didn’t expect to come home to see William cheating on him. But this was worse. They were cuddled on the couch, watching Lady and the Tramp. It wasn’t cheating, they cuddled with friends and teammates all the time. Lady and the Tramp was Will’s favorite disney movie, so it made sense. Except the number of times Kasperi and Will  had done this when going out just wasn’t possible, it wasn’t cheating, but it felt like it.

“He just fell asleep I was going to move him to bed.”

“Thanks David.” Kasperi wondred if telling David to just lay down with him as well would be too much. He didn’t want to anyways, it was clear that the number of nights he’d get to spend curled around Will was numbered.

**_I wish it was easier to kiss you on the mouth,_ ** ****_  
_ **_Like it is to work hard and earn an honest wage._ ** ****_  
_ **_But you're not always fair to me, no, like I wish you would be..._ ** **_  
_ ** ******_He's the one who left home; I'm the one who stayed._**

He should have brought it up, they needed to communicate, that’s the only way any relationship worked. But for once Kasperi felt like he had some part of the relationship in his control. David didn’t seem like the kind of guy to come out and tell Will that Kasperi had been short and upset with him. He had this one thing, he loved Will and he would keep loving Will as long as William let him.

**_I wish it was easier to kiss you on the mouth,_ ** ****_  
_ **_Like it is to work hard and earn an honest wage._ ** ****_  
_ **_But you're not always fair to me, like I wish you would be..._ ** **_  
_ ** ******_He's the one who left home; I'm the one who stayed._**

Kasperi told himself, someday William would see, he was here, he was willing to fight for Will. David had just given up, had suggested that they break up because they weren't in the same place anymore. Kasperi told himself if he just worked hard, showed William how much he loved him, eventually William would leave David behind. He’d really get over him

**_I wish it was easier to kiss you on the mouth,_ ** ****_  
_ **_Like it is to work hard and earn an honest wage._ ** ****_  
_ **_But you're not always fair to me, like I wish you would be..._ ** **_  
_ ** ******_He's the one who left home; I'm the one who stayed._**

Kasperi had lost track of the number of times he cried in the bathroom. The shower was great, loud enough to disguise sobbs. He’d lost track of how often he told himself “Just a little longer and he’ll love you back.” “Just a little longer and he’ll be over David” No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t believe it anymore. No matter how much he loved William, no matter how hard he loved him, Kasperi knew he’d have to think about the fact that it might not work. Instead he wiped away his tears, washed his face and pulled William close in bed. The nights were numbered he was going to spend them in love.

**_I wish it was easier to kiss you on the mouth,_ ** ****_  
_ **_Like it is to work hard and earn an honest wage._ ** ****_  
_ **_But you're not always fair to me, like I wish you would be..._ ** **_  
_ ** ******_He's the one who left home; I'm the one who stayed._**

Kasperi isn’t sure what he expected.  He knew it was coming, he figured he had always known, the moment they went on their first date he knew. He wasn’t David Pastrnak, he couldn’t ever be David Pastrnak. They didn’t yell or fight. Kasperi didn’t even cry. They promised to be friends, they’d force their way through the awkwardness, they’d have to. It was paramount to the success of the team. Kasperi would never be rid of the image of William sitting at the table, looking sad, so sad, like he might actually love Kasperi. He didn’t know what that meant about him, that his boyfriend sitting at the table near tears made him feel like there was hope.

**I wish it was easier to kiss you on the mouth,** ****  
**Like it is to work hard and earn an honest wage.** ****  
**But you're not always fair to me, like I wish you would be...** **  
** **He's the one who left home; I'm the one who stayed.**

Being friends wasn’t hard. They hadn’t ever stopped, and as far as Kasperi could tell, from William’s side of things that’s all they ever were. Kasperi moved his things back to his bedroom, he got use to sleeping alone again. It wasn’t too bad, it hurt like hell but it wasn’t hard.

The hardest part was nothing seemed to change for Will, except now Pasta was his boyfriend. They skyped just as often as before, Will had just as much time for Kasperi as before.  It was like nothing was different. Like Kasperi had never once put his heart on the line, like his pain was for nothing.

**_I just get so angry when_ ** ****_  
_ **_You say you love him so,_ ** ****_  
_ **_I wanna be more like him;_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_I wanna know there's hope._**

 


End file.
